Because even the best leaders talk to themselves first.
There was a little boy who came to our program who had already been expelled from a few others. When he arrived, he carried a notebook from his teacher that was filled with difficult notes — lists of behaviors, warnings, and frustration. It was hard to read and I was just meeting him, but it was his mother who handed it to me and I’ll never forget her worried face. His new teacher, Mr. Matt, didn’t see a list. He saw a child; he extended his hand and they walked into the classroom together.
It was a privilege working alongside Mr. Matt. We spent time talking through his ideas, reflecting on challenges, and honestly laughing at each other as we learned. Within just a few weeks, Mr. Matt ran into my office one afternoon, tossed two books on my desk, and said, “He can read!” — it was a moment that changed everything. Not only could he read, he could read at an exceptional level.
We learned that his mother, who had very limited literacy skills herself, was reading to him and the other neighborhood children every night. She may not have known every word, but she knew the power of stories and what they could do for a child. Her love and effort sparked something that grew into confidence, connection, and advocacy. When we shared what we had discovered with her, again I’ll never forget her face — but this time filled with pride and relief.
When we work with children who are exhibiting challenging behaviors, it can be easy to focus on what’s hard instead of what’s possible. But storytelling, especially the kind that starts with truth and compassion, shifts everything. It helps us see children, families, and even ourselves in fuller, more hopeful ways. It’s not about spin. It’s about seeing and sharing the moments that matter.
As leaders and educators, our stories hold incredible power. They shape how we see our work, how we talk to ourselves, and how we talk to each other. And the way we talk to ourselves matters most. When we practice positive self-talk and give ourselves the same grace we give to a friend, we grow. The research backs this up: self-compassion increases resilience, improves decision-making, and strengthens relationships. But even more than that, it makes us human in the best way.
So, start with your story. Notice what makes you proud, what makes you curious, and what makes you brave. The way we talk about our work and ourselves creates ripples that go far beyond our classrooms.
Whether it’s a child learning to read, a teacher finding their voice, or a leader learning to trust their story, leadership always starts with a story.
It starts with how we talk to ourselves on the hard days, the ones that test our patience and even our why. It grows when we notice what’s good and what’s working, and choose to nurture that.
The truth is, the best storytellers aren’t the ones who speak the loudest. They’re the ones who listen closely, lead with heart, and keep learning right alongside their teams. When we find the courage to tell honest stories about our work, we build more than programs; we build trust, connection, and opportunity.
So tell your story.
The world is better when it hears it.
About the Author
Kim Stewart is the Director of Help Me Grow Western New York and PEDALS. Kim is on a lifelong mission to make the world a better place for all children.
Many thanks to Jessica Tollar for sharing today’s Quick Tip. A valued member of the DAL advisory committee, Jessica is the Director of Early Childhood Development and Curriculum for 
Many thanks to Kim Suminski, CEO of 
Directors As Leaders 